Going Back
by PhantomsAngel- GerrysBride
Summary: Christine comes to a sudden realization. She no longer cares of the consequences, all she cares about is going back. EC read and reveiwI changed my name, I used to be SiriuslyDepp, now I'm PhantomsAngel,GerrysBride
1. Chapter 1 Phantom

Disclaimer- I own nothing

A/N- this is my first attempt at a Phantom phic, so please don't be too hard on me… here we go

(Inside Christine's mind) "**In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came, that voice which calls to me, and speaks my name, and do I dream again, for now I find the Phantom of the Opera is here, inside my mind**."

It has been nearly a week since that horrid mob went after the Phan- Erik. Erik is his name, how could I call him anything else, other than Angel? For he still is my angel, my Angel of Music. Anyway, it has been nearly a week since he let me leave with Raoul. It has been nearly a week, and still his voice haunts me. He still calls my name every night. Is he still alive? Even if he is not, he is still there, singing songs in my head.

"**Sing once again with me, our strange duet, my power over you grows stronger yet, and though you turn from me to glance behind, the Phantom of the Opera is there… inside your mind**"

How I wish I could go back to him, to sing with him… did I really just think that? He has been on my mind for nearly a week. Raoul says that Erik (though Raoul calls him a monster) is dead, so I am free of him. Raoul says that it is time I forget about the opera and all that happened there. But how can I ever forget? How can I forget my past? Raoul wants to get married, and he doesn't understand why I keep putting it off, and I don't understand why either, all I know is that I feel incomplete without Erik… I mean the opera.

"**Those who have seen your face, draw back in fear, I am the mask you wear," "Its me they hear" "Your spirit and my voice, in one combined, the Phantom of the Opera is there, inside my mind**"

His face, once I thought it to be hideous, but now, it is my one source of comfort. His sprit lives on inside of me, and I am still connected to him. I love hi- wait… I love him? No! I love Raoul, not Erik! Then why on earth is it not Raoul's face that I see, or Raoul's voice I hear in my head? Why is it that all I see is Erik, all I hear is Erik, and all I can think of I Erik? Can it be that I do love Erik and not Raoul?

"**In all your fantasies, you always knew that man and mystery" "Were both in you" "And in this labyrinth where night is blind, the Phantom of the Opera is here inside my mind**"

I know now that I truly do love Erik, I wish I knew if he was alive. How am I going to tell Raoul that I love Erik? He hates Erik. I want to go back to The Opera Populaire to find him, to make sure that he is all right. But even if he is alive, he probably loathes the sight of me; I left him alone. But I have to go back and see him. Though if he hates me, I would die from heartbreak. How could it have taken me this long to figure out that I loved him?


	2. Chapter 2 Discussions and memories

Disclaimer I own nothing :-(

(Real and present times) "Raoul?" asked a visibly shaken and distressed Christine. "I have to tell you something."

"What is it Christine? Why do you sound frightened? Did you have a nightmare?" he asked. He looked up at her and exclaimed, "Christine! Why do you look so pale? Are you ill?"

"No, Raoul, I am not ill. Not physically anyway. Emotionally, I am very ill. That's what I have to tell you. Raoul, I am not in love with you."

He looked up ate her in shock. Then he laughed. "Christine, little Lottie, you are ill, you haven't slept in weeks, you don't know what you are saying." Though his words were confident, his eyes showed her that he was upset and distraught at her words. "Why would you ever say such a thing?"

"Raoul, don't be angry, you know I love you, but I realized last night that I love- another. I love you as a sister would her brother."

Here Raoul became angry, for he saw that she was slowly becoming less pale and he knew that she was telling him the truth. "Who on earth could you possibly love other than me? You have been in the house for the past year, you haven't seen anyone else, and I know that you haven't had anyone else other than me."

Christine looked at him indignantly. "I don't have to tell you anything Raoul. Although I was in this house for a year, I have never truly left the place where I belong. At the opera house." She knew in hr mind that even though she didn't say that she meant Erik, Raoul would know. She saw his eyes flash in anger and surprise.

Raoul couldn't believe his ears. After all that he had done for her, she wanted to go back to the closed opera house? There was nothing there for her… except… but no, not that monster. He closed his eyes and a scene from his past flashed before his eyes, only now he realized things that he hadn't before.

Flashback

Raoul was tied to the gates in the monster's underground lair. His beloved Christine was being forced to choose to throw her life away or else the monster would kill Raoul.

"Either way you choose he has to win" sang Raoul.

" For either way you choose, you cannot win! So, do you end your days with me, or do you send him to his grave?" sang the monster with rage.  
"Why make her lie to you, to save me?" spat Raoul at the Phantom.  
Christine sang sadly, "Angel of Music… why this torment? When will you see reason? Angel of Music…"  
"Past the point of no return, the final threshold! His life is now the prize, which you must earn! You've passed the point of no return…" The hideous monster sang at the same time.  
Raoul sang with them both, " For pity's sake, Christine, say no! Don't throw your life away for my sake, I fought so hard to free you."  
Christine suddenly became angry and spat, "You deceived me, I gave my mind blindly" Raoul had always thought that she had sung those words at the Phantom, but now he thought she was singing to Raoul himself.  
The Phantom became angered as well and sang to Christine, "You try my patience, make your choice!"

Then she moved towards the monster with a new light in her eyes and sang softly and gently to him, "Pitiful creature of darkness… What kind of life have you known? God give me courage to show you, you are not alone!" and then she had kissed him.

Raoul was shocked that she would do such a thing, but at the time, he thought it was a way for her to let him live. For the monster had then let her go and she had come with Raoul. But somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered that she had come reluctantly, and when he told her to go back and give the monster the ring back, she had tears in her eyes.

End Flashback

He looked at Christine with sadness and disbelief, and yes, anger. "You can't possibly love that… that… that hideous monster! Christine! He tried to kill us both! He is dead! And if he is alive, then he doesn't deserve to live, he deserves to be sent to Hell forever! He is nothing but a monster!" he yelled at Christine.

Christine stood up straighter and spat back at him "His name is Erik, and yes, I love him. More than I could ever love you. He isn't a monster, he is a man. You are the monster here, Raoul. Erik understood me more than anyone in the world ever understood me."

"Christine, you speak of what you do not know! He tried to kill me! For God's Sake Christine, he tried to kill me!"

"Raoul, you are the one speaking of what you do not know. He never would have killed you. Either way, he never would have, no matter which way I chose. He would never hurt me."

"Then why did he send you back to me?"

"To save me from the mob that was about to come and kill him. He didn't want anything to happen to me. And God knows that he didn't want me to see him if they killed him."

"Which they probably did, Christine, he is dead, so forget him, and stay here with me."

Christine spat, "He isn't dead Raoul, I know he isn't. You said it yourself, 'While he lives, he'll haunt us till we're dead.' And I know he is haunting you as much as he is haunting me. He isn't dead, it has only been a week, he could still be there waiting, or injured. I have to go to him. Raoul, don't you see? I love him."

"And if he kills you when you get there?"

"He won't, that I'm sure of. Does that mean… does that mean that you wont try to stop me from going to him?"

"I couldn't stop you from being happy Christine. And if you are not happy with me, then you have the right to go to the monster that will make you happy."

Christine frowned at him. "He is not a monster. He is the man that I love, so I'll thank you if you would stop calling him a monster."

Raoul sang under his breath, "Masquerade, paper faces on parade, masquerade, hide your face so the world will never find you. Masquerade, every face a different shade, masquerade, look around there's another mask behind you… Christine I love you" And she looked at him sadly and shook her head.

She went to he room to collect her few belongings, and to collect her wits, for she was afraid of what she might find in Erik's lair… or worse, shat she might find in his heart.


	3. Chapter 3 Finalities

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Chapter 3 Finalities

Christine went to her closet to get dressed early the next morning and frowned at her clothing. There was nothing in her closet that would be suitable for wearing back to the Opera house. She knew that if she chose to wear any of the dresses that Raoul bought for her, Erik would think she had changed, (not to mention that she found the dresses much to fancy for her own liking). She searched for a dress that Raoul's servants had not managed to throw away. Most of her dresses had been burned in the fire, and the few that had been saved were considered to be unfit for the life of a Vicomte and his fiancé. Much to her dismay, she found nothing in her closet that she could wear to see her angel, unless she wore the simple black dress she usually wore to her father's gravesite. That dress would have to do. It was simple, yet not so simple that it made her look like a young starved orphan like she once looked. She knew she looked pretty in the dress, but not overly done.

She put the few dresses that she could stand to wear in a bag, along with her underclothes, corsets, stockings and nightgowns. The dresses that were overdone with lace and satin and rhinestones she left in the closet for Raoul's next lady friend, for he was bound to have another woman he would marry. She looked down at herself, and saw the shining engagement ring that Raoul had given her. She sighed and remembered that she would soon (hopefully) have a different ring on her finger, one which she knew she cared far more about. She took off the ring, and left it on the vanity next to the silver-plated brush and comb set. She knew that Raoul had given her everything she could possibly want, but he gave her none of the attention she needed. So in ways, he gave her everything and nothing.

She then looked into the long floor length mirror that was hanging on her wall and smiled, remembering how her angel had first visited her in the flesh. He had come through the mirror. She pressed upon the cool glass of this mirror, wishing it would become the gateway to her beloved, though knowing that the true mirror was hundreds of miles away from here. She finished getting dressed and packed, and set off into the living room, where she knew Raoul would be waiting. He would undoubtedly try to make her stay with him, but her mind was set, she was leaving this morning, and she was very glad to be out of this horrid life of a Vicomtess.

She turned and took one last glance into the room, and saw a red rose. She gasped and ran to the rose and saw that it was freshly cut. Why had she not noticed it before? She ran to the window with hope of seeing a cape or a mask, or even Caesar, the horse that she rode upon the first night that she and her angel met in the flesh. Seeing none of the signs of the man she loved, she turned back to the rose, and saw that it had no black silk ribbon tied around it, so it could not be from him. Then next to her foot, she saw a paper, which read, "Christine, I hope this rose, the colour of passion, can remind you of how much I love you. And I hope you can change your mind and not go to the monster. All my love, Raoul." She grew angry with him, and put the paper on the nightstand and then destroyed the rose that he had dared to give her. How dare he choose a red rose to ask for her back? He knew that only one man had ever given her a red rose, and he had dared to mock him?

She turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, only pausing to grab her red cloak. She walked down the elaborate staircase and into the living room. She saw Raoul, and merely nodded at him. He looked up at her with hope in his eyes, but then looked back down sadly when he saw that she had her cloak and her bag already packed. Her eyes softened as she saw him so sad. She walked over to him, knelt down and said, "Raoul, I know this is hurting you, but I know that even if I were to marry you, I would never be faithful. Not in the physical sense, for I would never betray my vows and cheat on you, but in the mental state, I would be with no other man but Erik. You must understand that. I love him so very much, and if you love me as you say you do, then you will let me go to him and not try to make me stay here with you, for you know that I would be unhappy here."

He looked at her and had to blink back the tears that were threatening to splash upon his cheeks. He sighed and whispered, "Go, your carriage is waiting for you. Go now and leave me, but promise me that you will never forget me. For Christine, I will always love you; no other woman will hold a place in my heart as you have. Promise me that you will never forget me." Christine looked into his eyes and said, "I will never forget you, for you are a part of my life that will always remain with me. I do love you, but only as a sister would love her brother." Christine stood and went to pick her bag back up and leave, but Raoul stood and took her into an embrace. She froze and then held him close to her, and then pulled away. He nodded at her and picked up her bag and walked her to the carriage. He helped her into the carriage, then turned away and walked back to his home, without a backward glance.

She sat back in the carriage, joyful for the first time in weeks. She knew that she would be finally going back to her beloved angel. She thought back to all the times she had shunned him, and instantly regretted them. She looked at the driver and asked him if he would drive as fast as possible, because she was very eager to get to the Paris Opera house. She knew that the reconstruction of the famous building was nearly finished, because the fire had not completely destroyed the building. An article had been in the newspaper on Monday that the fire had only damaged the seats in the Opera house, did not even touch the boxes or the stage, and had only destroyed the glass outside because of the heat. Her home would be back to how it was soon.

The article had also stated that Monsieur Firmin and Monsieur Andre would be leaving the opera house once they found new managers. Christine laughed at this, for she knew that Andre and Firmin knew nothing of the opera, and that Erik had frightened them. Madame Giry and Monsieur Reyar would remain the dance instructor and the Maestro. She hoped that they would take her back after all the trouble that had been caused because of her. She had also noticed that the article held no mention whatsoever of the infamous "opera ghost" and for that she was grateful, for Erik would surly have been hunted if they had spoken of him.

She looked out of the carriage window, and saw that they were on the far end of the de Chagny estate. Christine sighed and leaned her head against the smooth leather seat and drifted off to sleep. For the first time in weeks, her sleep was not tormented by dreams of locked doors, long tunnels and the last night of her parting with Erik. She knew that her dreams had to do with her feeling of being locked on the inside of her, and the feelings that she had known all along, but had refused to admit it, the fact that she loved Erik. Her sleep today was filled with dreams of clear skies and angelic voices.

In what felt like five minutes time, Christine's coach driver woke her up to tell her that they were close to the Opera house. She sat up eagerly and looked outside. She saw the whole of Paris gleaming at her, as if to say how happy the city itself was to have her back. She looked around happily knowing every curve of the streets, every shop window, and every turn of the carriage wheel told her that she was getting closer to her home. She closed her eyes and breathed in the familiar scents of her home. She felt like a little girl again, a little girl who was so thrilled to be going home. She knew she was being foolish, it wasn't like she hadn't been her for a long time, but to her, it felt like a lifetime ago. She had last seen these roads and shops less than a week ago, so of course she would know every place.

At last, she looked up and in the near distance she saw the gleaming Paris Opera house. It looked like it was beckoning her to come closer. She saw the opera house, and instantly felt joy, but along with that joy came the feeling of dread. She knew she had betrayed Erik, and knew he would be angry with her for leaving him, but it had only been a week, so perhaps he would be glad to see her. She knew she was hoping for too much, for she had seen Erik's anger before, and knew that it took a lot to make him forget his anger. Though she knew all this, she held onto the hope that Erik would not be overly angry with her.

When the carriage pulled to the front of the Opera house, Christine looked up at it with a sense of foreboding, and awe. She was reminded of the first time she had stepped into the Opera house, for she had felt the same feelings. This time however she felt those feelings multiplied, for she was much older than she was when she first came to live and train here. She was seven years old when her father had passed away, and she was nineteen years old now. She had been with the opera for more than half her life. When she got out of her coach she took her bag and sent the driver away, back to Raoul's home. She took a deep and shaking breath and started up the elegant stairs that led to the front doors of the opera house. She took hold of the heavy golden door handle and pulled it open, un-noticed by anyone. At least she thought she was un-noticed, but truly a pair of glowing green eyes that held the pain of the world was watching her. These eyes had been watching her since her carriage was blocks away from the opera house.


	4. Chapter 4 Sadness of the world

Disclaimer I own nothing (

To my reviewers, thanks a billion! Its great to see that I actually have people who read my stories… this one took a little longer to post, because I had a serious case of writers block, so I had about a page for the past two months, but then I found a muse, so hopefully I'll be able to post more often. Without any further ado, here's Chapter Four!

Chapter 4- Sadness of the World

As Christine stepped over the threshold of the doors, she was trembling from head to toe. She looked at the beautiful place, which had always been so busy with workers of the opera, the managers fighting, people buying and selling tickets, maids cleaning, but now there was none of that, none but a few silent maids who looked up in terror as she walked in. They were afraid because they knew that the two ex-managers had gone insane after the performance of Don Juan Triumphant. They had taken to accusing everyone of being in line with the ghost, and that the whole of the Opera House was out to get them. They had fired many good workers since the fire, and the remaining staff were afraid of them, for although they were no longer the managers, they still had a say in who was to remain at the opera house, until new managers were brought in.

When the maids saw who had stepped into the entrance hall, most of their fears were removed, for tonight at least they did not have a reason to fear for their jobs, but they regarded Christine with dislike, for it was mostly her fault that things had changed in the opera house. As Christine walked gently into the room, she felt a grave change in the atmosphere of the once magnificent Opera House. Where once was happiness, joy and laughter, always mixed with a bit of nerves; now was fear, sadness and anger, and most of all, the air of nervousness was overwhelming. Christine felt all this, and was gravely saddened for she felt it was all her fault.

Without warning, a high-pitched scream pierced the silent entrance hall, and a thundering of footsteps was heard crashing down the elegant stairs. Christine was startled, as were the silent maids, and all of a sudden, all the wind was knocked out of her, and her vision was obstructed by a mass of long blonde hair. Christine smiled as she hugged her friend. As the girl stepped back, Christine noticed tears streaming down her face, through her smile.

"Oh, Meg, what is wrong? Why are you crying? Has anything happened?" she asked worriedly. Christine thought for a wild moment that something had happened to Madam Giry since she had last seen the two women.

Meg answered, "Christine, I am only crying because I have missed you so much since you left. I can hardly believe you are standing here. You don't know how it has been here without you. No one smiles anymore, they are too afraid. Everyone can hear sobs coming from the walls, and I know it is the Phantom, but no one has seen him since the final performance. His cries are so mournful, like he holds all the pain in the world. And I don't even have my best friend and sister here to share everything with. But now you are standing here, a future Visountess." Meg cried out again and hugged her friend once more.

Christine hugged her friend, and then said, "Meg, I am not a future Visountess. I have left Raoul for good, for I do not love him. And you say you hear the Phantom sobbing? Oh, Meg, I fear he is crying for me, what if he never wants to see me again? What if he turns me away from him? He truly does hold all the sadness of the world, and it is entirely my fault. Meg, I have discovered that I truly love him; it was the biggest mistake of my life when I left here without him."

Meg looked at her friend in shock; she could not believe that Christine had left the Viscount to come back to the opera house, a place in ruins. She didn't know how Christine could leave a man of wealth and power to come back to a broken man, a man who had nearly stolen her freedom. Yet as Meg looked at her friend, she saw the truth in Christine's eyes. She truly loved the man who all feared. She smiled at Christine and said, "Come, lets get you back to your old dressing room, you must be tired from your journey. But first, will you come with me to see Maman? She has been hoping you would come back and visit. She misses you as much as I did."

Christine smiled and said, "Of course I'll come see Madame Giry. And Meg, I'm not here to visit, I'm here to stay, that is, if Madam Giry and Monsieur Reyar allow me to stay after all the trouble I caused." She made a face, which told the world that she was afraid of not being permitted to stay.

"Of course you will be allowed to stay here, we need our diva back! We lost both of our divas last week because La Carlotta fled with Piangi after the final performance. And you are the most talented singer in all of Paris."

Christine looked up at Meg and then exclaimed, "Piangi? He is still alive? How is that possible? I thought that Erik- well, you know." She blushed at the fact that she thought that Erik had killed Piangi.

"Christine, Erik killed no one! Everyone thought he killed Piangi when he was found backstage, but he was just knocked out. He had a lump on his head, but he was alive and well when Carlotta went to him. And you remember Joseph Buquet? They found a suicide note in his dorm room. So Erik has no price on his head. The police have stopped hunting him and promise to keep their distance. Erik is a free man, and yet he still hides form the world. I don't understand why."

Christine gasped when she heard that he was innocent and that he was a free man, and then frowned when she heard Meg talk about him hiding from the world. "Meg, you saw how the world treated him! How could you even think that he would show himself when the world has been cruel to him? Even I have been cruel to him, he has the right to hate me and to hide. He may look different, but on the inside, he is no different from the rest of humanity. He is a genius, and though I may be the only person who will say it, I think he is beautiful. His face may be scarred and destroyed, but it is only on his right side that he is distorted; his left side is so very handsome and perfectly flawless. And his deformity is what makes me know that he is human, for without it, he would be the angel that I grew up knowing, and even with his deformity, I know he is perfect, he is a perfect soul, and I love him."

Meg was about to say something, but there was a wail of grief that rang out through the whole of the Opera house. Christine felt her heart break as she listened to her angel cry. The two friends began to walk up the elegant stairway toward Madam Giry's room. When the wails finally subsided, Meg sighed and said, "Maman gets so upset every time she hears him cry, because he hasn't allowed anyone to go to his home since that night. He wont contact her, and the only way she knows he is alive is because she can hear him cry. But this is the first time I have heard him cry like that, it sounded different somehow, not so much sadness, but grief. And Christine, I know that he still loves you; he could never hate you. He wouldn't cry for you if he hated you. If you listen, you can hear him say your name through his sobs. The girls in the Ballet who are still here only know him as the Opera Ghost, and they fear him, yet they say that they have never heard of such a sad spirit."

The two girls passed through the ballet dormitories, and a few of the girls looked up at Meg and waved at her, but when their eyes fell upon Christine, their gazes turned cold. One of the little girls cried out, "She is back? Surely they can't allow her to come back here after all the trouble she caused. What if it all starts up again, and someone actually dies?" Many of the little girls nodded in agreement. Christine's face fell and she felt the tears well up in her eyes, she saw a few of the older girls, girls whom she had grown up with looking at her scornfully.

Meg snapped at them, "You silly ballet RATS. You girls grew up with Christine, and now because she has gotten to the place you want to be, the star of the Opera, you turn against her? You say you dislike her because of the problems with the chandelier and with the Vicomte and with the Opera Ghost, yet I know you have been jealous of her since she made it to the top. You all disgust me. Especially you Little Jammes, you so looked up to Christine, how can you look at her now with such loathing?"

The young girl looked at Meg, then looked at Christine, and her eyes softened. She walked up to Christine and said in a small voice, "Mademoiselle Daae, I am sorry for my actions, and I do look up to you. You were once one of us, and when you left us, I for one felt betrayed, and hurt because you said that you would never leave us, but now, Mademoiselle, you are at the top, where all of us hope to be one day." The young girl sighed as Christine smiled at her, all was forgiven.

Meg tugged Christine's arm and they left the ballet dormitories to find Madame Giry. They finally wound up at Madame's dormitory, though before Meg had the chance to knock on the door to ask permission to enter, the girls heard a voice in the room, the voice of a man! Christine silently gasped, for she knew that voice, it was the voice of her angel! She pressed her ear to the door to hear what he was saying.

"… Madame, I know you think me foolish, but I swear to you that I heard her, and saw her. She is here, Madame, I swear it to you. She told your daughter that she loved me. Madame, she said that I was beautiful. How can a beautiful angel call a horrid demon like me beautiful? How can she love me?"

"Erik, if only you would come out and show yourself to me, I could look you in the eye and yell at you for calling yourself a demon. I don't know if what you say is true, or if you are wishing it would happen, for I do not know if Christine is here, but if it is true that she is here, then you MUST learn not to eavesdrop on a person's personal conversation."

Christine and Meg looked at one another and Med knocked on the door. They heard Madame Giry tell Erik to be silent and leave so he would not be noticed. Then she opened the door.

"Christine! My goodness! What on earth are you doing here? My child, come in! How long have you been here?" Madame was acting as though she did not know that Christine had come back.

Christine answered, "I wanted to come home. Nowhere else in the world will ever feel like home. This is the only place in the world that I was ever truly happy, Madame. Do you know why?"

The Madame shook her head and hoped that Erik was gone, that he wasn't listening to this conversation. "Why were you only happy here, child? Did Raoul not treat you like a queen?"

Christine's lovely face contorted with anger, "Raoul, don't even speak to me of that pampered prince. He was never the man I loved, and I know that now. Madame," here her voice softened, "the reason that I am only happy here is because of Erik, my angel. Oh, Madame Giry, how I love him. I longed for him for the week I was not here. I miss his voice, his face, his embrace, and his soul." Christine broke off and started to sob uncontrollably. Madame Giry turned to her daughter and Meg understood that her mother wanted her to leave. Respecting her friend's privacy, she left.

"Christine, little Christine, you have grown up so quickly, too quickly. You left with your childhood sweetheart, and yet you are here now, barely 19 years old, and you say that you love a grown man. Erik is 25 years old, my dear, so very much older than you. And he is an incomplete man, he has never known life outside this Opera House, other than the Hell he knew as a child. All he knows of are man's cruelties, man's hate, and anger. The only kind voice he has ever heard is yours. Even I am sharp with him. A man such as Erik deserves so much, yet he receives nothing. I doubt he has ever been happy for an entire day in his life."

"Madame, he deserves the world, and I wish to be the one to give him the world. I wish to give him the beauty of this world that he has never known, I want to show him the meaning of happiness, and to give him all the love I posses. I want to smother him in love. Of the Hell he once knew, I know not, but I never want him to remember his horrid past. I only want him to remember the happiness we will share in our future together, if he will take me back. I hurt him so badly Madame, I tore out his heart and left him to bleed." Christine started to sob again, then collapsed to the floor in hysterics.

Madame looked at the young girl in pity, and n wonderment. Christine truly did love Erik. He would be the happiest man in the world when he found out. But looking at the young beauty in front of her, she saw that Christine was in no condition to see Erik now. She had dark circles under her eyes, her eyes were red from crying, her face was deathly pale, and she looked as though she hadn't eaten for days.

"Christine, have you been eating?" Madame Giry asked sharply.

Christine looked up at her through her tears and said shakily, "No, Madame, I haven't eaten since the day of Don Juan, nor have I slept. I have been hoping to die, because without Erik in my life, I had no reason to live. The day of Don Juan was the day my life ended." She looked down in shame.

Madame Giry looked at the young girl in pity, for she too knew what it was like to feel that there was no point left to life. She looked at the young girl and then said to her, "Christine, you are not well, and though it pains me to say this, I cannot allow you to see Erik until you are better. It would kill him to see you this way, he would feel horribly guilty that it was because of him that you have wanted to die. My dear child, come with me, and we will find you somehting to eat, then we will go and get you somehting else to wear, some of your clothing is still in your dressing room, so we will go look there. Christine, you need to eat before you can see him again."

The poor girl nodded her head and said, "I understand Madame, but how long will it be untill I can see him? For I long for him so."

Madame Giry thought about her answer before she said it. "As long as it takes for you to get well child, as long as it takes."

A/N not exactly the best chapter, but it leads to a better one... sorry no EC ... soon, I promise


	5. Chapter 5 Pain

Disclaimer- I own nothing. If I did, I would be the happiest person in the world. The only thing I own is the situation.

By the way, I don't know if I've said this before, but this is taken almost entirely from the ALW movie musical, and Erik looks like Gerard Butler. Drools

Chapter 5- Pain

Madame Giry led Christine to her old dressing room, and lit the fire in the fireplace. "Christine, change into something warm, and then climb into bed, I don't want you getting sicker than you already are. I am going to go down to the kitchen and get some warm food for you. And Christine, don't call out to him, I don't want you to see him yet, not until you get your strength back."

"But Madame Giry, please let me see him, I feel fine. I can't bear to be away from him for longer than I have been already. It will kill me to know that he is so close, but I can't see him. Please Madame," Christine pleaded.

Madame Giry felt sorry for the poor girl, but Christine's health was more important than her happiness at the moment. "No my child, I'm afraid that I can't let you see him until you gain back the weight and get sleep. You were thin before you stopped eating, and you are dangerously and unhealthily thin now. I cannot allow you to see him. It would kill him to know that he is the reason for you being so thin and sickly. It would torment him. I cannot let that happen. I am sorry, child." And with that, she turned on her heel and went to the kitchen.

When Madame Giry left the room, Christine burst into tears again. She would not dare to disobey Madame Giry, but she could still cry and wish that she could be with him. She dropped to her knees, and through her tears, she whispered a prayer. "Dear Lord, help me become strong again. I know You sent Erik to me not only as a guardian, but also as my true love. Erik was there for me when no one else was, and I turned away from him. Help him to forgive me, please Lord. Help me make his life perfect, and please give me the strength I need to be with him. When I was a child, I prayed that you would send me the Angel of Music, and though you didn't send me an Angel with wings, you did send me Erik, and he is better than anything I could have hoped for. Thank you Lord, and please give me back my strength."

She rose from her knees and looked around her room. Almost everything was as she had left it on the night of the final performance of Don Juan. It seemed that the fire had been stopped before it reached the dressing rooms and dormitories. She went to her bureau and rummaged through the clothing inside. She pulled out a woolen nightgown and changed into it. When she had changed, she gave a longing glance at the mirror, wishing she could run to Erik, and sighed, then climbed into bed.

After about fifteen minutes, Madame Giry knocked on the door to the dressing room, and came in with Meg, carrying a bowl of stew and a plate of salad. Christine looked up gratefully and gave them both a sad smile. She took the bowl of stew and ate more than she had in a week. When she could eat no more, she placed the bowl on the bedside table. She looked up at Madame Giry who was smiling, and Meg who looked happy, but confused. Madame Giry stood and said, "I'll leave you two girls to talk. Meg, don't keep Christine up too late, I want her to sleep tonight. Sleep well girls. Come and lock the door behind me, so no one can come in from the outside, that is the last thing we want." The girls smiled at Madame Giry, and said goodnight, and Meg got up to lock the door.

She turned back to Christine who looked distressed, but still happy. Meg could not comprehend what her friend was going through. She looked at Christine and said to her, "Christine, I am so confused about this whole situation. Just weeks ago, you were happily engaged to marry the Vicomte, and now, a week after you left here to marry him, you came back saying that you don't love him, and love the Phantom. Forgive me for not understanding, but this is far beyond my comprehension."

Christine smiled sadly and said, "I know you couldn't understand what I am going through right now. I myself did not know how unhappy I truly was without Erik. When I left here, I thought I was going to be free from the man who I thought was a monster. In my fear of him, he became like something out of a nightmare. Once I left here, and my head cleared, I knew that he was no monster, and he truly was the Angel that my father promised to send to me. But my childish fear kept me from believing myself that I loved him. I wanted to love Raoul, but every moment I spent with him only made me wish for Erik rather than Raoul. Every time he would criticize Erik, I would grow angry, and every time he told me how glad he was that Erik was out of my life, I would grow sad. Raoul saw how unhappy I was, and would try to make me feel better by taking me to fancy parties, where all the other women would shun me and tell me how I didn't belong there. I stopped eating because I was upset, and I wished that I would die, because I realized how I had ruined not only my life, but Erik's life as well. Every time I would sit with Raoul, and he looked into my eyes, I saw nothing but his pale gray eyes. I remembered looking into Erik's eyes, and seeing not only his deep green-gold eyes, but also his soul. I could remember seeing his pain, and his love, and his fear. I was the reason for al of those emotions in his eyes. You must have no idea how I could have discovered all this in only one week, but somehow, I did. I finally knew that I had to break things off with Raoul and come back here only last night."

Christine finally finished telling Meg all the details that led her to come back to the Opera House. She became weary, and Meg told her to lie down. Christine realizing that the sooner she went to sleep, the sooner morning would come, lay down. She felt safe for the first time in weeks, knowing that Erik was close by. Smiling slightly, she closed her eyes and went to sleep. Meg got up and left the room, letting the door lock behind her. She still didn't understand how all this came about, but she could not pretend that she was unhappy about it. She had missed her friend terribly, and was very pleased that she had returned.

Meanwhile, Madame Giry had gone down into the chapel to pray and thank the Lord that all was right again. As she did every time she went into the chapel, she lit a candle for her late husband, Marquis. It seemed like so long ago since he had passed away, but the pain she felt was still raw. She missed him terribly with every breath she took. She could never forget that horrible night thirteen years ago.

FLASHBACK

(A/N) Tear jerker- get some tissues

It was a stormy night in April, and Madame Giry had just put her five-year-old daughter Megan to sleep. "Sleep my little darling, morning will come faster if you sleep." Meg pouted and said, "But Maman, I'm not slee- slee- sleepy," through an enormous yawn. Madame Giry smiled. "Lay down little one, morning will come." Meg sighed and turned over. "Maman? Can I say my God-Bless now?" "Of course you may." Meg sat up and said, "God bless Mamma, and Nurse Maria. And please bless papa, and make me a good little girl. Amen." "Good girl, now go to sleep Meg."

Meg put her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes. With a sigh, she fell asleep with a smile on her face. Annette Giry smiled and tiptoed out of the room and went down the hall to the sitting room. The family lived in the Opera house, because Annette and Marquis both worked there. Annette was the ballet instructor, and Marquis was one of the three managers along with Gaston Leferve and Richard Poligny. Little Meg wanted to one day become a ballerina like her mother.

Annette had an odd feeling inside her heart tonight. She was worried about her husband. He was away on a trip with Richard Poligny trying to find new patrons, because the family that had been supporting the Opera House had moved far away, into another part of the country, and would no longer be able to support them. They had been gone for a very long time. With the storm raging outside and the Opera house so silent, she felt very uneasy. She sat in her husband's chair in front of the fireplace and began to read a book. Every so often, she would pause and listen to the storm outside and wonder if Meg was all right. She glanced up at the grandfather clock and sighed. It was getting late.

She stood and was just about to put ashes on the fire to put it out, when she heard a small noise, a noise like a hand being brushed against the wall. She froze in her place. With the next crash of lightning, she saw the small figure of a boy, a young skinny boy of twelve-years-old, with a mask on his face. "Erik, child, you gave me a fright! How on earth did you get in here?" "I'm sorry Madame, I didn't mean to frighten you. But you were so engrossed in your book that I didn't want to disturb you. I'll leave if you don't want me to stay."

Annette smiled at the boy in wonder. She had found him five years ago in a traveling circus. They had treated him terribly, and he wanted desperately to escape. He finally saw his escape the day that the ballerinas came to see the show. Annette felt pity for this poor boy, and she helped him escape after she witnessed him kill the man who was torturing him. He had known nothing of the world except for it's cruelties, and yet here he was now, as polite as a boy that had grown up the finest household in France. "Of course I don't want you to leave, Erik. I was just startled. I didn't hear you come in."

He smiled weakly, which caused the world of difference in his face. He was a tall skinny boy, with extremely pale skin that looked as though he hadn't seen the light of day in years. He had jet-black hair that caused a startling contrast with his pale skin. He had green-gold eyes that appeared blue in some light. His little body was covered in scars that were beginning to heal. "Of course you wouldn't hear me Madame, the storm is so loud. And I have perfected the art of walking silently." With that, another crash of thunder sounded throughout the Opera House, which caused the walls to shake. Erik jumped very slightly, which would have gone unnoticed by anyone but Madame Giry, whose eyes had been trained to spot things that no one else would see. She understood Erik's reason for coming out of hiding now. He was afraid of the storm. "Erik, are you afraid?"

His green-gold eyes flashed and his mouth grew thin. "I am NOT afraid of a silly thing like a storm. I am not afraid of anything." Annette looked at him sadly, and started to tell him something, when he interrupted her. "And I do NOT need pity. Just because of how I live and because of my face, I don't need to be pitied." "Erik, stop that right now. You are acting like a child" "I am a child," he shot back at her. "But you are smarter than any other child of your age I have ever met. And you should know that it is all right to be afraid. Everyone gets afraid sometimes. Fear is what keeps us alive and aware."

The young boy looked up at her with such pain in his trusting eyes. "Madame, you are the only kind voice I have heard since I was born. My own mother abandoned me once she saw my face. I brought shame to her. She gave me to the orphanage who then sold me to the gypsies when I was a year old. I knew nothing else since then. You are more than just my rescuer, you are like the mother that I never has." He grew embarrassed at confessing these things to her, and grew silent again.

Annette on the other hand was very happy to hear Erik talk about her with such fondness. She pitied him and hated his mother for abandoning him. "Your true mother was a fool. She would not even give you the time of day because of your face. She will never have the joy in her heart that I feel when I hear you play the organ or sing your music. She will never get to look in your eyes and see the wonderful boy that I see. I am honored to know that you think of me as your mother."

Erik smiled slightly, and then grew thoughtful. "Madame? This may sound silly, but will you read to me? Like I am a normal boy?" "You are a normal boy, Erik. And you should be able to call me Annette. Madame sounds so formal. I would be delighted to read to you." She selected a book of poetry to read to him. She sat in her husband's chair in front of the fireplace, and Erik sat on the floor next to her feet. She began reading a poem about angels. As she was reading, she saw Erik's eyes begin to flutter open and closed. When she had finished, she saw that he was fast asleep. She smiled down at him, and pushed some of his hair out of his visible eye. She pulled a blanket over him and stood to go to her own bedroom. As she stood up, there came a frantic banging on the door to her rooms. "How many disturbances am I to endure tonight?" she thought.

She then heard a strangled yell from outside. "Madame, Madame! Come quickly, something horrible has happened." Annette recognized the voice of one of the nurses of the Opera House. Erik sat up, with a terrified look in his eyes. Annette turned to him and whispered, "Go, quickly, before someone sees you." He bolted for an exit, and disappeared into the night. Annette went to open the door, and saw the soaking wet figure of Nurse Maria. Maria was white as a ghost. Maria, you are dripping! Come inside and tell me what has happened. And lower your voice, you will wake Meg."

The poor girl came into the house and said, "Madame, there isn't much time. My husband is already trying his hardest to help, but… b-but…" the nurse broke off into hysterical sobs, and not another word was clear to Annette.

"Calm down Maria, calm down. What has happened? Where is your husband? Who is he trying to help? Maria, tell me." Madame Giry looked shaken; the nurse had never lost control like this before. "Madame," she gasped, "your husband, Monsieur Giry… we believe he was attacked, he is so white Madame. He called out for you, we don't think he will make it through the night."

Annette sat down, unable to understand what was told to her. Her husband, Marquis? Injured? Dying? How can this be possible? Her husband was so strong; he could never be injured. She stood up quickly and ran to check on Meg who was still sleeping soundly. She then went to get her cloak. When she arrived back downstairs, she was ready for the worst.

Maria had re-composed herself by the time Annette came back. "Madame, would you like me to come with you, or would you rather me stay here, incase Mademoiselle Giry wakes up?" Madame Giry thought for a moment, and decided that she would rather have Maria stay here with Meg. She told Maria to make herself comfortable.

"Madame, you know where my husband lives, do you not? My horse is outside the servant's entrance, he will know where to go." "Thank you Maria, I must go now, take care of my little one for me." She left the apartment and ran down to the servant's entrance. She climbed up on the great horse just as a clap of thunder shook the sky. As the lightning hit, the horse took off at a gallop. As she drew nearer to the nurse's home, another bolt of lightning struck and lit up the ground. She saw for a brief moment an overturned carriage, broken glass, and a thick, red liquid that she knew must be blood that was swiftly washing away in the storm.

She climbed down from the horse and allowed it to go into the stable. She looked back at the over-turned carriage and shuddered. She knew to expect the worse. When she went up the walkway, another flash of lightening lit up the sky, and she had to shut her eyes and try not to look at the disaster behind her. She knocked on the door, and heard a faint "Come in, Madame." She stepped over the threshold, and walked into the darkened house. She saw that there was only one door open, and a light was shining from the room. She quickly went to the room, and gasped at what she saw.

Richard Poligny was laying on the couch covered in gashes and bruises. He was gasping for breath. Madame Poligny was standing next to him, holding his hand, and wiping tears from her eyes. The good doctor was in another part of the room, and she knew that her husband would be there. She didn't know how she knew, but she knew that he would be worse off than Richard. She slowly started walking to the doctor, when she heard a strangled yell, coming from her husband. "Annette, please, I need her." She began to cry silently, for God alone knew what she would find. The doctor stepped aside, and she looked into the face of her husband.

Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw, and she closed her eyes upon the sight of him. Marquis, her strong, handsome husband was so battered and bloody laying there. And worst of all, his eyes held no hope, and that to Annette was even worse than the sight of her once perfect husband, battered and broken. She re-opened her eyes, and saw the tears of shame in his eyes. "My love, don't cry, please, mon amour. It's not as bad as you think," she said to him in a whisper. "Annette, my love, the pain is unbearable. The doctor told me that it would be a miracle if I live through the night. I won't last longer than that; I know it. Don't cry for me, my love, you must be strong for our little Meg. Help her grow strong and brave like you. Oh my young love, it isn't as though I am going to be leaving you forever, I will still live on in your heart."

Annette couldn't help but wonder at her husband's brave statements. Even as he was dying, he still could be strong enough for them both. She knew that he was right, and tried to make him as comfortable as possible. She knelt down on the floor beside him, and held his shaking hand. The doctor came over to them and tried to give him some morphine to ease his pain, but Marquis would not allow himself to take the medicine. "Give it to Richard. Don't waste your medicine on a dying man. Give it to him, so that he may live."

The minutes dragged into hours, and the hours seemed to last for days. She knew that there was nothing that she could do to help him, and it was paining her to see him like this. Finally, he seemed to take shorter breaths, and his limbs began to shake. He was dying, and he puller Annette closer to him. In his final breath, he whispered, "How do I love thee, let me count the ways…" and with that, her perfect husband was taken from her. She wept for what seemed like hours, when the doctor lifted her from Marquis' broken body, and told her that she must be strong for Meg. Madame Poligny left her husband's side to embrace her. "My dear Madame Giry, Richard and I will help you in every way possible, and I know that Monsieur Leferve will help as well. We are all like a family, and we will never abandon our family. But the doctor is right; you must go to your daughter. Would you like me to come with you?"

"Madame Poligny, I couldn't ask you to leave your husband at a time like this. He needs you more than I. I thank you for your support, and I am sure that I will need it again in the near future." Annette tried to put on a brave façade, and with that, she thanked the doctor, and told him that she would send his wife home as soon as she got there. "Madame Giry, my lady, you may keep Marie with you for as long as you need her, she will be more than willing to stay with you. The Lord knows that you will need help for a while." "Thank you, doctor, that means a great deal to me. I must take my leave now, I must get back home to my daughter." And with that, she left the house where her husband died forever.

She somehow made it home, and went up to her apartment. Nurse Maria was waiting in the kitchen, and when she saw that Annette had come home, she knew that she would have to stay here for a while. She embraced Madame Giry, and told her that she would stay there as long as she needed her to. The next few days were a blur to Annette, but somehow, she managed to get through them. She knew that she would never forget her perfect husband. She knew that if she lost her bravery for a moment, she would only have to remember Marquis', and she would regain courage.

END FLASHBACK

Annette finished her prayers, and wiped her tears from her face. As she left the chapel, she smiled softly, and whispered one last prayer, "Marquis, I know you are up there watching over us all. Help me be strong enough for all three of my children. Meg, Christine and Erik."

A/N- I cried very hard while writing this chapter, but I felt that it had to happen. I wanted to show more background to the characters. Sorry no EC-ness in this chapter… hopefully the next one…


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